June 2013
what if milk had pulp
my dad turned off the light while i was still in the room did you forget who decides to put you in the nursing home or not
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
hotels can’t be boring to me
they’re just fun
even if i’m sitting in the room watching tv or riding the elevator or sleeping it’s just fun for some reason like they’re average every day things but in a hotel everything is way more amusing and interesting and just simply being in a hotel is fun to me and i don’t understand
Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
i don’t really understand where penises go when boys wear pants
sometimes to the left
sometimes to the right
sometimes up
sometimes down
sometimes painful
sometimes not
depends
take it back now y’all
One hop this time
please don’t jump on my penis
charlie brown
I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood
I mean seriously
what do you think we do every month
yeah i mean when i turn into a werewolf at the full moon and go hunting for human hearts to eat i’m fine
it got better
every single child who has ever been home sick from school knows the hell that is Baby Looney Tunes